My husband’s cock is very small, about 4 inches in length. Though it is enough to sometimes stimulate me enough for an occasional orgasm, I have a huge desire for a much larger cock. I love him very much and would never cheat on him. I have heard that some men wear a strap on sometimes to help with this desire. Is there a special one that will not only satisfy my wishes but also give him some type of pleasure at the same time? Wantin More!

Sometimes a little bit more is all it takes for you both to enjoy an orgasm together. I believe that you can purchase tools that will stimulate both you and your partner. There are two ways to do this, if you have a local adult shop near you that you feel comfortable going to, the go and see someone who can recommend a toy for you to use, or you can search online and both you and your partner can pick out a toy that you both feel will work. It's a case of try and see and feel which one will suit both you and your partner. Enjoy those times together.

I’ve been trying to convince my wife to try anal insertion. But she is very afraid to try. She thinks that it will bring on problems like constipation and maybe some ripping because she doesn’t think that her canal will take the insertion. Is there some place where we can find out more on this. She loves anal stimulation, she is just reluctant to go further then a finger or a small anal plug. Jonathon S.

Jonathon, the only place I believe you and your wife can go to find out more about problems like constipation due to anal insertions is finding a sex therapist online. However what I can say is, I love anal and I have found that it doesn't make me constipated at all and I am sure your wife will find the same thing. Playing safely and slowly will not cause ripping and if plenty of waterbased lubricant is used there should be no ripping at all.

Starting slowly with fingers and a small anal plug is the best way to go to start with and from there, you can slowly try other toys and ones that aren't too big. If you have been trying one finger, slowly try too and I am sure you will be surprised at how easy your wife will take to something just a little bigger. Going slowly is the key, not too big to start with is another way to ease her mind and not pushing her to go too big in one hit will help her enjoy the experience.

But if she is still worried, it's time to speak to a sex therapist to see what her suggestions are. But I have been told by one lady that some couple prefer anal sex over vaginal intercourse because they enjoy it more. I hope that helps a little to ease your wife's mind. Let her take the lead with the size of different objects and always, always use plenty of waterbased lube.

Guess I would be referred to as young and naive in the sexual world, but I would like to expand my knowledge. I know most girls like to have their anus touched and sometimes played with a finger tip. What I would like to know is what does a butt plug do to a girl, how does it increase their sex drive and pleasures. Young Naïve

Young Naive, butt plugs give a girl incredible sensations that unless you get to experience, they are hard to describe. But if you want to try one, start with a small one first and go slowly. You really do need to get used to the size. There may be a little pain but that pain soon turns to pleasure. And personally, I love butt plugs, not only do they give me incredible pleasures, they make me wet too and I'm sure you will experience the same types of sensations I do. Night Angel

A while back my husband and I started playing around with an anal plug he bought. We have intercourse with the plug in me and we both get the fantastic feelings of him inside rubbing against the plug. But now he has gotten where he has to have the plug inside him whenever he enters me, he says it gives him more staying power. Is this possible? Anna K.

Hi Anna, I'm not sure that having anal / butt plug in your husband's ass will give him more staying power, because I'm not a guy and every person feels things differently. I believe though that if he says that is what happens, then it possibly does. Butt plugs give many people different pleasures and it is good to see that you are both experimenting with these types of sex toys. I wouldn't be too concerned though, because the longer he lasts, the more pleasure you will get having sex with him.

My girlfriend and me love each other very much. We have many orgasms together orally and with our collection of toys. We don’t own a strap on, but have been thinking of getting one. What should we consider in buying our first one? CuriousGirls

It's great that you want to purchase a strap-on. Buying your first one is always important and the things to consider would be the size, the shape of the dildo and the harness that the dildo sits in. There are numerous types to choose from and I would suggest that you both sit down in front of the computer and look online at the different types of dildos and harnesses that are available. Personally, you should both decide what pleasures you both want to receive when using a strap-on. Consider the pleasures and safety aspects and the size and shape of your first strap-on. I'd love to hear back from you when you make your purchase and try it out for the first time. Night Angel

This may be an odd question, but how does one clean and care for sex toys? I have several, and they range from hard plastic to jelly rubber to silicone. It's not like they come with washing instructions on the label! Any advice? LillyS.

LillyS, I would never ever say that this question is an odd one because not many people realize the importance of cleaning their sex toys. It is always important to wash your sex toys before you use them for the first time and immediately after each use. That is a must. The best way is to use warm water and a antibacterial hand soap.

Of course with the varying types of sex toys available the cleaning process can be varied also. If you have a silicone dildo the best way to clean these is to place them in boiling water for a couple of minutes or if you have a dishwasher, this will work also. If you use rubber dildos you will find that the rubber may absorb more dirt than the silicone ones. It is recommended that if you use rubber dildos, a condom would help keep them as clean as possible and always remember to wash them with with hot water and soap between uses.

Always remember that if you are using electric toys or battery operated vibrators or dildos clean them using running water and try to remember not to let the water run inside the vibrator. If you ever get stuck with cleaning toys, read the instructions that come with it or look online.

Anal play is always different too and I would suggest you do as I do and use a condom on all toys during anal play. Never use the toy on your partner without washing in between uses. And always remember to have lots of fun.

I'm a happily-single man looking to spice up his solo sex life. What are some sex toys I can try out by myself? Are there any sex toys made especially for men? Curious George

Curious George, it's great to see a guy who is interested in sex toys. Not many men are game enough to try something different and when it comes to sex toys there certainly are some avialable for men. There are quite a few actually depending on the different feelings you are interesting in experiencing. I could write a full article or column on the different toys available for men, but space is limited here so I'll list one to get you started and all you really need to do is look online in the various adult sex shops and find toys for men.

A popular one is the Senso Lips which apparently delivers the ulimate in oral pleasures. It has ribbed silicone lips and a sheath that wraps around the shaft of your penis and it teases you until you have a fantastic orgasm. This pleasure tool cane help you enjoy an erotic oral fantasy. It helps with self satisfation. When you find the right toy I am sure you will enjoy the different sensations.

I would like to get my husband to try some more adventurous stuff in bed, and I have decided that some sex toys would spice things up nicely. What sex toys would be good for us to use? Are there sex toys we can both enjoy? DianafromDallas.

DianafromDallas, what a great idea. Sex toys certainly can help spice up a relationship and there are so many different ones to choose from and there are some that you both can enjoy. There are several that you may enjoy, but really it depends on what you and your hubby would like to try. There are hard dildos and vibrators or there are soft or hard rubber ones. The soft ones are fantastic if you want them to conform to your body.

If you head over the one of the online adult sex shops you and your husband can look at the different types available. You can choose from vibrators, dildos, strapons (if you want to get a little adventurous with your husband), butt plugs and I am sure once you both decide what you want to try, and you choose your toys together, you both will enjoy them. Don't forget to put a waterbased lubricant on your need to have list. Personally I love butt plugs and g-spot vibes, but then choice is yours so come back when you have chosen the toys of your choice and used them and let me know if you both had fun using them. Night Angel.

Night Angel, I've just been reading up on the g-spot and I'd like to find that spot on my partner but I'm not sure how to do it and what toys to use if I was to try. My partner loves her toys so I thought I would try with a toy rather than my fingers. What toys are the best to use and how do I find her special spot if I am not using my fingers. Eumendera

Eumendera, the g-spot is an incredible spot if you can find it. You will need the help of your partner. A lot of guys expect a girl to stop enjoying the sensations and tell them that they have found the g-spot, but sometimes the feelings are so intense that listening to the sounds that she is making when you find that spot, or the expressions on her face will tell all. She will know when you have found it because it is a sensation that is almost like a hot flush, a feeling that makes a
girl want to pee but they don't. I guess it is hard to describe those feelings but even if she doesn't tell you, you will know.

Her love of toys is great because it makes it easier for you to play. I'd take her shopping either online or to the adult shop and have her pick out a toy or different toys that she feels will give her lots of pleasure. The right toys are the ones that she feels she will enjoy. Look for toys that are marked for g-spot play and you can't go wrong. Oh and have fun.

Night Angel, I want to buy my partner a sex toy. However I am not sure what sort she would like and if I buy one will she be open enough to use it when she wants or maybe even when we are together. I’d love some advice if possible please… thanks, Saul.

Saul sometimes buying a special gift like a sex toy for someone you want to give a lot of pleasure to can be quite difficult. Not because of the reasons you are possibly thinking of. There are many different types of sex toys available and the selection is incredible and ranges from vibrators to dildos, anal toys, g-spot toys and more.

Some women love the glass dildos that come in different shapes and sizes. As I said the selection is quite extensive and there are possibly thousands of different shapes, sizes and models to choose from. There are possibly two maybe even three options open to you. First off, you could go the offline route and head over to your local adult shop or one that is close to you. That is if they sell sex toys. Take your partner with you.

I know that some girls won’t even venture into an adult shop in fear of getting a reputation or they may be shy. So here is my second option.

Search online at one of the many adult shops. Most sell an extensive range of sex toys and other goodies that your partner might be interested in. With that in mind, you could have her look with you and you could make notes of which ones she really pays an interest in and when she is not looking you could purchase it for her and send it to her as a special gift.

Or you could let her choose one that she feels will give her the ultimate in pleasures. Of course the prices do vary, but with that in mind both of you would have already taken that into consideration.

Remember surprises are good, but ensuring that something as special and private as a sex toy is best to be chosen by the person who will receive it. That is unless you know what type of toy she or he would love to experience.