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Alternative Lifestyle Questions (10)
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Question from :

This may be a silly question, but how can I romance a guy? I'm not romantic by nature, I'm hardheaded, practical, and a bit of a pain in the ass. Trouble is, there's this guy at work I really like, and while he isn't necessarily romantic, he's definitely far more sweet and shy than my usual type. In the past, I've had lots of guys competing for my attention, but I want THIS one. I think I'll like being the aggressor for a change, but how can I woo a man? What would make him think I'm great, and what would only make him think I'm weird? -- AlphaFemale

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Posted on April 3rd. 2007
Our answer:

Hi AlphaFemale, wow what a toughie but I like seeing a woman take the lead and be the one to initiate the contact and the romance between the two. Perhaps first off, invite him down to your favorite cafe and have a coffee with you. That way your first meeting is neutral and you can both get to know each other. It also gives you the chance to show him that you are prepared to invite him out rather than the other way around.

I'm not sure what type of person you are personally but judging by what you have written here it shows me that you are prepared to give romance a go with someone you appear to care about. So it's time to start by inviting him out for coffee and if that works, then perhaps invite him again. From there you can take it further. Perhaps a night out for dinner and drinks, or even a quiet night at your place might work. Once you both get to know each other then you can go further with each other. He may like you taking the lead and I'm not just talking about romancing him. One thing to remember though, don't do anything that will embarrass him. AlphaFemale.

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Answered on April 3rd. 2007
Question from :

My partner hurt her back early last year, and since then she hasn't been able to exercise like she used to. She's put on weight, and I know it hurts her. The truth is that while I loved her when she was skinny, I still think she's beautiful now. She barely wants to have sex anymore because those extra 20 pounds are really (excuse the term) weighing on her. I want sex more than ever. How can I make her feel sexy again? Help? Devoted in Des Moines

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Posted on March 31st. 2007
Our answer:

Devoted, it really appears that you have a challenge on your hands, but perhaps it's time to put your hands to work and show your partner how beautiful you feel she is. It's time to start romancing her, sending her flowers, calling her beautiful, sending her little love notes, show her you care so much she won't have a choice but to see that she is beautiful. Where your hands come into it is... organize a nice sensual massage for your babe. If you take control and give her a sensual massage followed by lots of touching, and in doing so tell her how gorgeous she is and how beautiful you see her.

Try this either at home or organize a special get away where she will feel comfortable. A unit somewhere where you have your own private beach, which will help her become more comfortable with how she looks and feels. Once your partners believes she is a beautiful person then she will have faith in how she looks and her sexual desires will grow. You need to take control as I mentioned before and make love to her. Do it, slowly and passionately and all the time telling her how much you love her and how beautiful she is. Make her feel good. Please come back and let me know how it went when you can. Night Angel.

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Answered on March 31st. 2007
Question from :

I want to plan a romantic getaway with my wife, get out of the same old house and away from the kids for our 14th anniversary. Trouble is, we're both homebodies. We like it quiet, we don't care for tourist-trap type places, and we loathe the tropics. Any suggestions for a romantic destination that's quiet and friendly but not boring? Marshall

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Posted on March 15th. 2007
Our answer:

Marshall, there is one thing I like and that is all the comforts of home when I want a romantic getaway with someone I really enjoy being with. I remember a little place by the sea, it was a B&B, had all the comforts of home and once we had our supplies we didn't have to leave until it was time to go home. So find a B&B close to the sea or better still somewhere where it is relaxing like in the mountains. You don't have to be bored because if you are going for a romantic getaway then you can both make your own fun. Candle lit dinners, romantic and sensual massages, touching and learning about each other's bodies. I hope that helps. If you need more ideas on what to do to make your trip more exciting when it comes to romance, then let me know and I'll help as best as I can. Night Angel.

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Answered on March 15th. 2007
Question from :

I need help getting back my loving boyfriend. I have been married for a year now and am having problems getting my husband to be romantic again. It seems that after the wedding the romance completely stopped. He used to be very romantic with the flowers, gifts and the right words. Now it is all gone, even small kisses only coming in the bed now!Terri R.

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Posted on March 6th. 2007
Our answer:

Well Terri, sometimes some women concern me because it's time to take control. Ok.. your husband who was your loving boyfriend before you married was loving and romantic and sent flowers and said all the right words. Well take control and you start romancing your man. Send him a red rose, send little text messages, or if you pack is lunch place a little love letter in so he sees it. Organize a romantic dinner. Think of all the things you loved when he took you out and return the intimacy. Take control and be the person to initiate some romantic times together.

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Answered on March 6th. 2007
Question from :

I love my girlfriend. We've been seeing each other for almost two years now, we're very happy 99% of the time, and I am
really ready to propose. The trouble is, her ex dumped her badly, and she's still pretty torn up about it. I know she still has feelings for him. Is there any hope? Should I wait until she's healed more fully or should I just forge ahead and pop
the question already? HopefulPC

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Posted on February 22nd. 2007
Our answer:

It certainly makes life hard when a girl has been dumped and she is still torn up about it after almost two years. My thoughts are that you should try and show her how much you love her and how fantastic you are as a friend. Without knowing how you have romanced her in the past, perhaps it's time you sent her flowers, an invitation to a romantic dinner, or a loving weekend away. You also need to talk to her and tell her how much you love her and care about her and you need to find where you belong in her heart.

Personally I'd be waiting before I pop the question because you really need to know that her heart is yours. She needs to be happy within herself before she moves on. If you need more help, ask away and I will do my best to help. Night Angel.

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Answered on February 22nd. 2007
Question from :

My wife wants to get separate beds because my snoring and kicking are keeping her awake. Worse, she's going through menopause hot flashes and everything. I want to help her get a good night's rest, but I'm afraid this will spell the death of our sex life. Any tips for keeping things alive after we move to separate beds? Is there hope? MurphyNY

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Posted on February 18th. 2007
Our answer:

Snoring and kicking in bed would certainly keep anyone away and with your wife going through menopause I can imagine the heat and the temper wouldn't be a good combination for anyone. If you put your mind and your thoughts to it, your sex life will not end if you decide to get separate beds. Sex doesn't have to happen after hours or when it's dark. There are times during the day when you can both enjoy those moments together. You could organize some romantic times including romantic dinners, sensual massages and so much more. From that you can enjoy your sex life. You don't have to have sex in bed. Night Angel.

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Answered on February 18th. 2007
Question from :

My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We have 3 kids, ages 10, 12, and 15. He has a career and I'm going back to school part-time. Our life is "on track" and we make a great team, but the romance has fled. How can I bring back the intimacy? Busy Bella

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Posted on February 13th. 2007
Our answer:

Busy Bella, it really is time to make time for you and your partner needs to make that time also. First up, it's time to plan time out which means you need to send your kids off to either their grandparents or to a friends, and preferably for the weekend. A weekend will give you both time together. If your budget allows you to have time away, that is even better even if it is at one of the motels in your area.

There are to be no interruptions from family. You can take turns giving each other a sensual massage, order in so no one has to prepare meals and take your time exploring each other's bodies. This is just the start but in order to get your romance and intimacy back on track you both need to take time out and get to know each other. You need to talk, to touch and to find out what turns you both on. Come back when you have this weekend and let me know how you went and I'll walk you through the next step.

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Answered on February 13th. 2007
Question from :

I met a wonderful girl at a party; I keep seeing her since she's friends with my friends. I want to ask her out, but she's so brilliant and offbeat that I have no idea what to ask her to do. Coffee or lunch sounds boring, and I'm afraid to suggest
things I like rock-climbing, concerts for fear of putting her off. How can I seem interesting enough to catch her eye? JoeQ.

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Posted on February 11th. 2007
Our answer:

Perhaps before asking her out you ask her how her weekend was or what she got up to the weekend. That might just help you find out the things she likes to do without being too personal with her. General chit chat will always help when it comes to finding out lots of things about a person. Sure coffee and lunch may sound a little boring, but it also a way of communicating and finding out if you both enjoy the same things. For example, this girl may not be into very many things, she may like some sports while you like other things, her music takes may not be the same as yours but she may like going out to nice places for lunch and dinner or coffee. I hope that helps.. as an after thought, you could do a little snooping and find out by listening when all your friends are together and find out what she loves doing after work hours.

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Answered on February 11th. 2007
Question from :

We've thought about spicing up our sex lives by doing something a little different. We've been married for almost 14 years and we talked about different things and we want to try something that we will remember for a long time. Some suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thanks sallynpete

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Posted on January 4th. 2007
Our answer:

Welcome sallynpete, it's so nice to hear from a couple that want to try something a little different. I'm assuming you love
sex and perhaps the missionary position and the usual foreplay can become a little boring... Without knowing what you two already have experienced, it's a little hard to make suggestions but I am going to try. If you have kids, it's time to ship them off to their grandparents for the weekend. And take yourselves off to a place that is very private and you can be alone for most of the time. Romancing each other, candlelit dinner and a special wine. Don't get drunk because you want to remember every minute you have together.

Share a sensual massage together followed by a get to know your partner time. Touching each other is an incredible feeling, learning where each other's sensitive places are can get very intense, because not only are you going to explore each other but you will tease each other before taking this time one step further. It's called... keeping your partner on the edge. How long can you keep each other there before experiencing an orgasm. The fun is in the playing and when you both finally share those orgasms they will be so intense and it will be the start of spicing up your sex lives. I could go further but that information will come once you try this first.

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Answered on January 4th. 2007
Question from :

Night Angel, my girl and I have been going out for some time. But we are both very different people. Our likes are different and sometimes those differences clash. I like to keep her happy but at the same time I like doing what I want to do too. I need some solutions as to how we can both be happy. Any ideas? Thanks.... Harrison.

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Posted on December 3rd. 2006
Our answer:

Harrison, compromise comes to mind. A relationship where two people are total opposites can work, it can be hard but it can work. For example. If you prefer to stay indoors rather than go out then comprise is the way to go. If you have somewhere private at home such as your own unit or flat would be good but if you don't, book a motel room for a whole weekend. Now here is the challenge for you and the way that you can compromise. YOu're taking your girl away for the weekend, order in all weekend... or take her out to the restaurant that is part of the motel so you don't have to go out once you are there. If your girl loves movies, then hire some and watch them in the motel room together.

You may be asking what the compromise here is. Well you are taking your girl away for the weekend of romance and relaxation. At the same time, you are able to stay indoors away from crowds of people and enjoy nice meals and watch movies with your girl. Of course when you are both relaxed and can enjoy the facilities at the motel the romance and time together will grow. If you have any other questions, ask away.

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Answered on December 3rd. 2006

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