Night Angel, I don’t want my partner knowing that I’ve asked this question because she likes to keep our private lives private. But I want to help her enjoy sex because I know she wants to have sex but when she does, it hurts. We are a couple in our 40’s so we are not as young as we once were and my partner always mentions it hurts when we have sex. I noticed that she stays dry a lot and I always thought it was because I didn’t turn her on. Any thoughts on how I can help her would be fantastic.

JDeeee, it is not uncommon for a woman to be dry. Vaginal dryness is experienced by many women and there certainly is a way around that. It’s time to introduce a water-based lubricant into your sex lives. Now you don’t have to hand her the bottle and ask her to put some on, why not introduce it into your foreplay session and in the process apply a little to her vagina especially around her pussy lips and just inside.

At the same time encourage her to pour some into her hand and massage you too. You would be surprised at how good a woman stroking you could be while her hand is covered in lube. Have fun with the lube, but always remember to make it water-based and one that is natural. Always keep the lube handy so that when playtime comes around, it is on hand for the all the time you intend spending experiencing each other’s body.

I’ve been going out with my partner for a few months now and for some reason I don’t know how to recognize whether she is having an orgasm or not. She gets wet and whimpers but I’m not sure if it is a real orgasm or not. How do I know if my girl is faking her orgasm?

Vik, there are many girls in the world who can’t achieve an orgasm. It’s often hard to tell whether your girl is experiencing an orgasm or not but there are some telltale signs that you might recognize. But a word of warning first… don’t intentionally go looking for them and remember that all girls are different and most will experience their orgasm in different ways.

First up you could talk to your girl and ask her what turns her on and what sensations she feels when you cum. Tell her you want to please her and to do that you need to know what makes her feel good.

Most girls climax in different ways. Some will whimper, some will scream, some girls just can’t hide that they have experienced an orgasm. If you happen to be licking her when she climaxes slide your finger inside her or if she likes anal, slide your finger into her arse, gently. You will feel her pulsating around your finger. If your girl’s orgasm is strong then you will feel her climaxing around your cock.

But remember that you shouldn’t dwell on whether she is experiencing an orgasm because it takes the pleasures away from the excitement you both give to each other.

My girl always complains when I climax too quickly. She says we only just begin and before she gets to have an orgasm it’s all over. Please help… I’d like to give my girl as much pleasure as she gives me but I don’t know how to.

Gordon next time you get together with your girl, pleasure her first. Try a sensual massage, some touching and maybe some oral. Giving your girl an orgasm first is always a great way to start.

Personally some guys I know love pleasuring me first. We play, touch and the oral sex is fantastic. When you give your girl an incredible orgasm you can continue the session with your orgasm being the finale. Paying more attention to your girl first before experiencing your own orgasm will certainly be a bonus for both of you.

My partner can only orgasm when we have anal sex, is it ok to keep having anal sex? We like both vaginal sex and anal sex but I like my partner to have an orgasm too so is having anal sex more often than vaginal sex ok? Stevo

Stevo, I was once told by a sex therapist that no matter which way you feel comfortable having an orgasm you should enjoy it. If anal sex is pleasurable for both of you, then keep doing it. I know that a lot of women have trouble achieving an orgasm with vaginal stimulation and often women rely on clitoral stimulation to climax.

Anal sex is fantastic and if you and your partner prefer it over vaginal sex, then go for enjoy it and enjoy the orgasms that are created while you experience a fantastic sexual pleasure.

Night Angel, I have a quick question… is it normal to masturbate? Mal…

Hi Mal, I believe it is normal to masturbate and not only is it normal but it also feels good too. A lot of people will tell you that masturbation is dirty and evil and the list can go on and on. But if something feels good, especially if it is not hurting anyone, then do it.

Masturbation can take place in private or it is possible to masturbate while your partner is with you. I’ve been told that some guys get together and have a masturbate-off where lots of guys masturbate for a good cause. I like sensual masturbation where I can masturbate while my partner looks on or we masturbate each other. I believe it is normal to masturbate. It depends on you and your thoughts about masturbation.

When my girlfriend and I have sex, it’s quick and over in minutes and I am not sure she really is experiencing a real orgasm. How do I know if she is because I want to lick her pussy and I want to make her have an orgasm she will never forget. But I am not sure that I can do that and I am not sure what to look for when she does have an orgasm. Help me please!

Aimtoplease, slow down ok… not every girl has a screaming orgasm and there are many girls in the world that can’t orgasm at all. But I’m not trying to turn you away because if you take your time and help her enjoy what you do to her then she will be relaxed enough to experience an orgasm.

If you really do aim to please, then try this… lay your girl down on the bed and make her feel very relaxed. You can do this by touching her gently, playing with her nipples and kissing her before slowly making your way down to her pussy.

When you climb between her legs, don’t rush. Lick her pussy gently and listen to those sounds. Don’t rush her. Don’t ask her if it’s going to work. Don’t ask her if she is going to cum yet. There are so many don’ts but if you do let her relax and let her take her time and enjoy what you are doing to her, then she will cum for you. It may take time and if it doesn’t happen this time, try again later. Finding the right spot takes practice and patience and when she does cum for you, let her experience her climax the way she wants to.

Not all girls are screamers. Some will climax and you will hear them, some will squirt and gush everywhere and some girls can’t control how loud their screams are. Remember, practice makes perfect and practicing is so much fun for both you and your girl.